this life is a journey.

so here i am at 2:45 in the morning. i love this time. i wish i was better at sleeping earlier, but there will be time for such a thing later in life.

thoughts:

i want to KNOW you. should i clarify? yes. i love your heart. i love your soul. whether i know you or not. please let me in. this sounds like a dumb plea. it most likely is... but regardless, i am discouraged by the lack of trust and openness between friends and lovers all the same. people dont like shallow. and i despise it. rather, it even makes me very upset. trusting and relying on God comes first. of course. but with THAT peace comes community. i long for community. i live for it. i have it. a great one honestly..... but i wish i could really know and understand everyone's longings, emotions, dreams, etc.. i really do.

its a hard thing for me to grasp this whole "holding back" thing. im learning how to be more guarded with my words and my affections... but its super tough let me tell you. is it wrong that i dont want to be guarded though?! i would rather get hurt a million times than be fake with someone. and i know being fake and being guarded are different, but for me theyre hard to differentiate. im asking for help on this one.


i just want to know where youre at. i want to know whats going on in your life, spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally. too much? PLEASE NO. i want it all. and then some. this may not make any sense. this whole post. but i care about you more than you know. so just know that.

love, peace, and beatles.
P.S. beatles rock band anyone?

"i've never known a love so true. i wanna see all of you." -matt wertz

matt wertz is obviously talking about a girl here, but it made me think of the love my Jesus has for me. He wants me. and He wants ALL of me. and He is not content with what little i have to give. im not content with what little i have to give. He wants more of me. and i want more of Him. im thankful that there is someone who is willing to fight for me. fight hard for me. that gives me faith that one day He will give someone else the desire to fight with everything he has for me. im encouraged that is out there. finally.

im so thankful for His faithfulness. im so grateful for where He has me. His timing is perfection. ive been seeking Him about desiring His timing. and not mine. is becoming more of my reality daily. im seeing Him be my reality daily. [thanks God.] He stands at the throne with open arms.

:::The Spirit and the Bride say, "Come." And let the one who hears say, "Come." And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price. ::: Revelation 22:17

youre invited into His arms. its the sweetest, safest place to be. :)

i thank my God everytime i think of you.