this life is a journey.

so here i am at 2:45 in the morning. i love this time. i wish i was better at sleeping earlier, but there will be time for such a thing later in life.

thoughts:

i want to KNOW you. should i clarify? yes. i love your heart. i love your soul. whether i know you or not. please let me in. this sounds like a dumb plea. it most likely is... but regardless, i am discouraged by the lack of trust and openness between friends and lovers all the same. people dont like shallow. and i despise it. rather, it even makes me very upset. trusting and relying on God comes first. of course. but with THAT peace comes community. i long for community. i live for it. i have it. a great one honestly..... but i wish i could really know and understand everyone's longings, emotions, dreams, etc.. i really do.

its a hard thing for me to grasp this whole "holding back" thing. im learning how to be more guarded with my words and my affections... but its super tough let me tell you. is it wrong that i dont want to be guarded though?! i would rather get hurt a million times than be fake with someone. and i know being fake and being guarded are different, but for me theyre hard to differentiate. im asking for help on this one.


i just want to know where youre at. i want to know whats going on in your life, spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally. too much? PLEASE NO. i want it all. and then some. this may not make any sense. this whole post. but i care about you more than you know. so just know that.

love, peace, and beatles.
P.S. beatles rock band anyone?